This review was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, the film being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Between Charlie Chaplin, Clint Eastwood, and Ben Affleck, it’s no secret that actors can often make for equally incredible directors. In understanding how to bring different roles to life in front of the camera, many are able to seamlessly transition to getting behind it. Sometimes, they can even do both at the same time. However, making that leap can be a challenging undertaking as an admiration for the craft can only get you so far. At least that’s the case for Chris Pine’s star-studded directorial debut Poolman, which is an unfortunate belly flop. While the neo-noir comedy about a pool cleaner unraveling a conspiracy has its moments that show Pine’s potential as a director, it is a rhythmically erratic and flatly steered film that never makes it above the surface.

Though Pine told The Hollywood Reporter in 2022 that he never really wanted to direct, the actor was thrown into the deep end of things after a conversation with director Patty Jenkins, whom he previously collaborated with on Wonder Woman 1984 and the TNT miniseries I Am the Night. With the two bouncing thoughts off each other, Pine admits the visions around Poolman made him laugh and that those very giggles eventually led him to the idea. Unfortunately, a majority of those laughs feel like an inside joke where the film just cannot pick itself up from the start and barrels down into some very convoluted, erratic frequencies that tragically miss the mark. As a self-professed “Pine Nut” who has been following Pine’s career since The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement and appreciated every creative choice, Poolman is still a movie that falls unduly short.

What Is Chris Pine’s Directorial Debut ‘Poolman’ About?
Image via AGC Studios

Pegged as a love letter and cautionary tale for Los Angeles to uphold its history and culture, Poolman has an appearance that will make you think of The Big Lebowski and the mystery that follows in a Joel Coen and Ethan Coen film through slow-burn intrigue and humor. However, Pine’s effort is miles away from such portraiture once the story unfolds even if it manages to sprinkle in some whimsy from the likes of Wes Anderson’s classic Bottle Rocket.

Poolman follows Darren Barrenman (Pine), an anxiety-ridden pool cleaner who lives in a trailer outside a motel-turned-apartment complex called the Tahitian Tiki, while frequently checking the pH levels. Led by monotonous routines like inspecting and cleaning the pool of his apartment block every morning, we soon learn this is his domain and a way to self-soothe. Through a visually bold appearance with long hair and a scraggly beard, Darren finds fashionable inspiration in the styling of Cary Grant (with one outfit of the day taken straight from To Catch a Thief) and writes letters on his vintage typewriter to civic crusader and social justice warrior, Erin Brockovich with the hope she will one day reply and fill the picture frame he has kept aside for her letter. Like Brockovich, Darren is committed to bettering his city, even if it’s the little things like correcting a bus schedule at City Hall meetings. He’s sincere and apologetic and just wants everyone to be happy even if we get the impression through numerous circumstances that he is still floating along for that very thing.

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One such afternoon while confronting one of the City Hall councilors (Stephen Tobolowsky), Darren snaps and winds up in jail, hitting absolute rock bottom and feeling embarrassed about the entire situation. However, things take a turn when he meets femme fatale, June Del Rey (DeWanda Wise) who shows up at his home with an interesting piece of information about the city’s shadowy operations. June is every bit the personification of a neo-noir’s dangerous dame, bringing in enough mystery and sexiness to rock Darren and his pool-man-turned-bumbling sleuth persona world. As Darren sees the information as an opportunity to save the city, he sets out to get to the bottom of the case with his ragtag group of friends, including his Pilates instructor girlfriend Susan (Jennifer Jason Leigh), his therapist Dianne (Annette Bening), and her husband Jack (Danny DeVito), a has-been director who’s looking to shoot a documentary on the somewhat dangerous conspiracy, and his seemingly unemployed buddy, Wayne (John Ortiz). Along the way, Darren gets into some very shady business fronted by a figure straight out of a black-and-white noir with Van Patterson (Ray Wise), a tough guy looking to siphon the city’s water supply for his enterprising almond-growing operation.

Chris Pine’s ‘Poolman’ Had Potential for a Short Film
Image via AGC Studios

In understanding Pine’s portrayal of Darren through his interactions with others, we can see a deep sincerity in the character. He is wildly optimistic and a dreamer. He’s sensitive and sweet, but often in over his head even when he’s trying his hardest to connect with others. He goes so far as to even meditate at the bottom of his pool and has visions of lizards and wonders about trees. Though the film attempts to create optimism and curiosity through a heart-on-my-sleeve character, it just doesn’t come together because of the writing. Pine is a great actor and one who has shown he is a force to reckon with in the industry. Undeniably charismatic, he portrays Darren well. But the story laid out between him and writing-producing partner Ian Gotler is flaky and rather hollow. This alone is a surprise, even if Pine manages to make the most out of Darren and give us doses of what this character could be like had he been supported by stronger writing. When he does, those pockets are filled with immense heart and a performance that is magnetic and affable. But without the foundation of solid writing for Pine to direct from, everything ends up being lackluster and takes away from that aspect, no matter how strong the cast is and how cartoonish the situations are.

For Poolman to be Pine’s directing debut is sad and, quite frankly, disappointing. Though he is good at developing a style through details and bringing out some solid talent, it doesn’t quite come together in terms of rhythm and pacing, creating a slow film that only picks up in pieces. But then, it never returns to that specific rhythm for a movie that could succeed in its finale. Instead, Poolman ends up rather messy and the mystery ends with more questions than answers, leaving us confused along the way and disconnected from the story and its characters. It falls short in every way for a story that could’ve worked in a vacuum as a possible short film, but not as a cohesive feature with strong, connective tissue throughout its sequences.

‘Poolman’ Pays Homage to Neo-Noir Classics, But That’s It
Image via AGC Studios

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that Chris Pine is absolutely passionate about acting and the history of film, considering Poolman is filled with tributes to films that have inspired this project. With a throwback vibe to L.A.-based noir classics like Chinatown and The Long Goodbye thanks to it being shot on 35mm film, the film is visually attractive and plays to that old-school nostalgia very well. There is an inherent beauty in pairing the softness of the film with the hazy, summer heat of Los Angeles. However, that’s about where it ends. Pine tries his hardest to create that organic, escalating chaos seen in the Coen Brothers’ movies through subtle humor and puzzles, yet it feels like a rip-off instead of an inspiration. Not to mention, there isn’t much here that is funny.

It’s sad that under the film’s misgivings, there’s a lot to work with and better, but Pine can’t seem to let this movie even take a lap. Instead, it sinks before it can swim due to an excessively tuned frenetic energy that feels way too quirky and mismatched in comparison to the rest of the film and its characters. While the film tries and gets points for participation, there is too much merriment in its dialogue that drives the story off its axis and offers more of a half-baked concept that gets buried in its ideas.

Pine’s execution in his 100-minute directorial feature lacks focus, despite his efforts to put it all together for a sharp debut. While Darren is as quirky as he can be and has some of the most humorous dialogue despite being amidst a cast of funny stars, including DeVito, it never synthesizes the way it needs to and, instead, metastasizes into something far out from our collective view. It would be unfair to say this movie was entertaining as it was much slower than expected and irritating at times because you really wanted it to be better. Though it had its moments, very weakly, we only wish it could have stuck to a stronger purpose for a more seamless, modern comedy.

Rating: D

The Big Picture

Chris Pine’s directorial debut film, Poolman, falls short of expectations, lacking rhythm and pacing, resulting in a messy and confusing final product. While the film pays homage to neo-noir classics visually, it fails to capture the organic chaos and humor that made those films successful. Despite its weak execution, Pine showcases his talent as an actor, portraying a quirky and humorous character in a cast of funny stars.

Poolman had its World Premiere at the 2023 Toronto International Film Festival.