Dave Adams and Vanessa Hattaway’s clandestine exit from Netflix’s messy series The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On left fans questioning why the couple even joined the experiment in the first place. As the one receiving the ultimatum and expressing hesitation about marriage, Dave’s actions on the show seemed especially contradictory. From the start, Dave’s behavior raised eyebrows, making it clear he wasn’t emotionally prepared for the challenges the process demanded.
Why Dave Struggled From the Beginning of ‘The Ultimatum’

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In the first episode, Dave appeared ready to embrace the experiment. He openly expressed interest in Mariah, Caleb’s partner, calling her “cute” and seemingly eager to explore connections. However, his confidence was short-lived. When Vanessa began forming a bond with Nick, Dave’s insecurities became evident. Instead of focusing on his journey or fostering new relationships, he grew fixated on Vanessa and what she might be doing with Nick.
Dave’s reaction to Vanessa’s connection with Nick left many fans questioning his motives. Some interpreted his jealousy as a sign of love and a newfound readiness to commit, while others saw it as a lack of transparency and an inability to handle the experiment’s pressures. This was particularly evident during a cocktail party, where Vanessa’s bond with Nick deepened, and Dave’s discomfort (and lack of interested ladies) led him to interrupt the two and confront how uncomfortable he felt.

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Dave’s Struggles with Conflict and Insecurity

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Despite claiming to be open to the process, Dave’s actions suggested otherwise. During speed dating, he briefly showed interest in Aria, but she later named him the man with whom she had the least chemistry. His attempt to connect with Chanel felt half-hearted, especially compared to Vanessa’s genuine spark with Nick. Reflecting on the situation, Vanessa noted in a testimonial that Dave seemed to have “already gotten answers out of the experience,” but added that she still needed to “reevaluate things.”
Dave’s insecurity intensified during group interactions. He repeatedly interrupted Vanessa and Nick’s conversations, seeking reassurance rather than engaging with the experiment. Vanessa, on the other hand, appreciated Nick’s lack of judgment, describing their connection as different from her relationship with Dave. She explained that, “there’s no fear of being judged” by Nick, suggesting she felt more freedom in exploring this new bond.
The cracks in Dave’s readiness for The Ultimatum were further exposed during the trial marriage phase. While Vanessa and Nick bonded, with Vanessa noting the lack of fear in their relationship, Dave’s insecurities deepened. Surveillance cameras captured Dave, Vanessa, Micah, and Chanel secretly packing their belongings and abruptly leaving the show. This hasty departure, without informing their new partners or the production team, undermined the integrity of the experiment.

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Are Dave and Vanessa Still Together After Leaving ‘The Ultimatum’?

Image via Netflix

Following their exit, Vanessa addressed the situation on Instagram, revealing that she left due to concerns about her mental health. “I know I just had to do what was best for my mental health. “You’re only seeing 1%,” she wrote, hinting at untold aspects of their story. In response to fan criticism, she added, “I’ll add more context after the reunion.” However, Vanessa dismissed calls for an apology to Nick, her trial partner, insisting viewers lacked the full context. Her cryptic comments, such as “Should I have stayed?” and “Yikes,” only fueled speculation about her and Dave’s actions. Meanwhile, Dave took a more lighthearted approach, sharing memes on Instagram comparing the season to a “dumpster inferno.” While he appeared unbothered by the fallout, his behavior during the show suggested otherwise. His inability to fully participate in the experiment, coupled with his focus on Vanessa’s actions, raised questions about his emotional maturity and readiness for commitment.
One of the most telling moments came during a conversation with Vanessa before the experiment began. Dave stated, “It’s surprising you are giving me such high pressure when there’s a very high likelihood that I connect with somebody during the dating week.” This comment, which almost felt like an ultimatum from Dave’s end, was ironic given that he quickly lost interest when he realized no one was genuinely interested in him. Vanessa, however, thrived in her connection with Nick, leaving Dave preoccupied with jealousy.
Fans are now eagerly awaiting the reunion episode to see if Dave and Vanessa are still together. Despite their dramatic exit, their relationship’s future remains uncertain. Their Instagram activity suggests they are still a couple, but still unanswered is the question: Did Dave ultimately give Vanessa the commitment she was looking for from the very beginning?
The first eight episodes of The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On Season 3 are streaming on Netflix, with Episodes 9 and 10 dropping on December 18th.

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The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On

Get hitched or call it quits? Couples put their love to the test–while shacking up with other potential matches–in a provocative reality series.

Genre

Reality

Debut Date

April 6, 2022

Number of Seasons

3

Studio

Netflix

Watch on Netflix