If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You, from writer-director Mary Bronstein, is full of holes. Before the opening credits even roll, a massive hole opens up in Linda’s (a better-than-ever Rose Byrne) home, flooding the entire floor with a ludicrous amount of water. Even before that, Linda is in a therapy session of sorts with her unnamed and almost entirely unseen daughter (Delaney Quinn) who has a feeding tube in her stomach, which prompts many an argument between Linda and her daughter’s doctor regarding the best course of action to handle this tube.
But there’s a much deeper hole growing inside Linda, as the struggle with taking care of her daughter only grows with each new obstacle that gets in her way, from self-centered therapy sessions to an annoying parking lot attendant, the literal expanding hole in her home, and every speed bump in between. With If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You, Bronstein tells an unsettling, always uncomfortable story about the insurmountable pressures of motherhood, an overwhelming, building nightmare that somehow still manages a glimmer of hope in the long run. It’s also an exciting breakout for Bronstein, along with Byrne giving the first great performance of the year.
What Is ‘If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You’ About?

From the very opening of the film, Linda’s life is an exhausting stream of problems. Her husband (Christian Slater), is away for several weeks, and Linda and her daughter have temporarily moved into a shitty hotel, with a surprisingly kind neighbor (A$AP Rocky). As a therapist, Linda has a series of clients whose problems vary from worries that they keep having dreams about Linda, to a new mother (Danielle Macdonald) afraid of killing her newborn baby. Her own therapist (Conan O’Brien), who works right down the hall from Linda, is, at best, unresponsive to her pleas for help. Underneath all of this is the constant worry about her daughter, who needs to gain weight quickly before she can have her tube taken out. As the pressure of all of this continues to mount, Linda’s stress builds to a point where it feels like she’ll almost certainly break.
Rose Byrne Is Tremendous in ‘If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You’

Image by Jovelle Tamayo via Sundance Institute

Bronstein often keeps the camera closely on Byrne, to an almost claustrophobic level. In the opening minutes of the movie, it almost seems like we might never see another character, only hearing them on the fringes of Linda’s story. We’re often so close to Linda that it’s as if we would also do anything to escape the mounting stress that she has to deal with every second. Even when Linda sneaks out of the hotel room for a quick smoke break, she always has a baby monitor on her in case her daughter needs her. It never ends, and both Byrne and Bronstein’s camera allows us to feel that weight.
Byrne is superb as Linda, as we watch her slowly descend into frustration and exhaustion. We can see the burden of each new step of this journey on Byrne’s face, and by the end, it’s as if she’s about to fall apart entirely. It’s remarkable that Byrne is able to show this type of progression throughout the length of a feature, in what must truly be a draining role every step of the way. It’s a phenomenal work of restraint and calculated choices that is also played with flawless authenticity.

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The entire cast here is also spectacular, with each character often adding to the tension that is burying Linda. O’Brien is droll and frustrating, playing a character who Linda reaches out to but receives no help from. This is a rare movie role for O’Brien, but he gives the exact energy this role needs. Hopefully, this will lead to more roles for O’Brien. Delaney Quinn is also fantastic as Linda’s unnamed child, who we have to both be somewhat irritated with, yet also want the best for. Her final scene is key to what makes this entire film come together, and she handles the moment beautifully. Also delightfully exasperating is Macdonald as Caroline, a mother who’s worried about her relationship with her newborn. This role is an excellent mirror to what Linda is going through, and Macdonald does a wonderful job of playing all the wild, varying emotions this character needs.
Yet it’s A$AP Rocky who is a true scene-stealer here as James, Linda’s neighbor at the dumpy hotel. So many characters here only cause Linda to spiral further, but James is one of the few helping hands she gets throughout the film. Like Linda, we’re also wary of James’ intentions here, but the dynamic between them is one of the most delightful combos in If I Had Legs.
Mary Bronstein Builds the Tension of ‘If I Had Legs’ Beautifully

Image Via Sundance Film Festival

What makes If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You such a remarkable film is the way Bronstein handles the building tension and terror of Linda’s story. Every little inconvenience builds and builds to a breaking point, and the way Bronstein holds the camera on Byrne as if it’s yet another issue Linda has to deal with makes this such an uncomfortable and jarring performance. Bronstein previously acted in Ronald Bronstein’s Frownland, which also has a character going through their own degradation, and with Ronald as a producer, alongside his frequent collaborator Josh Safdie, it’s hard to not think of Mary Bronstein matching the intensity of the Safdie brothers’ best films.
In doing this, Bronstein crafts a tremendous look at motherhood and how overwhelming the experience can be, where even the smallest frustrations can become life-alteringly difficult. Motherhood can be a living nightmare, and Bronstein never shies away from just how hellish that experience can be.
If I Had Legs is the type of movie that’ll have you on the edge of your seat in even the most straightforward scenes; a film where you’ll want the tension to relent, but also compels you to ride that excruciating feeling like a wave. The combination of Byrne’s haunting, brilliant performance, and Mary Bronstein’s unrelenting handling of tone here makes If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You one of the first must-watch films of 2025.
If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You had its world premiere at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival.

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

Rose Byrne gives a tremendous performance in If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You, Mary Bronstein’s incredibly intense motherhood drama.

Release Date

January 24, 2025

Runtime

113 Minutes

Director

Mary Bronstein

Writers

Mary Bronstein

Producers

Benny Safdie, Josh Safdie, Ryan Zacarias, Sara Murphy

Pros & Cons

Rose Byrne is staggeringly great as a mother overwhelmed by everything thrown at her.
The entire cast, including Conan O’Brien and A$AP Rocky, fill out this world beautifully.
Mary Bronstein perfectly builds the tension right to the breaking point here.