Magic Mike Last Dance Review: All Nipple, No Substance
Apr 2, 2023
Not exactly the film I was expecting to be asked to review this week but I dive in with this Magic Mike Last Dance review.
Mike Lane takes to the stage once again when a business deal that went bust leaves him broke and bartending in Florida. Hoping for one last hurrah, Mike heads to London with a wealthy socialite who lures him with an offer he can’t refuse — and an agenda all her own. With everything on the line, he soon finds himself trying to whip a hot new roster of talented dancers into shape.
There’s only one reason these films are doing well and one reason only, lust. Lust for the attractive cast doing their thing, strutting their stuff and putting on a show for usual cinemas full of rowdy women (or men) who need to let off some steam in some shape or form.
Like a bachelorette party on steroids, these cinema experiences are ones I’d steer clear of it like my life depended on it. Let’s be clear, Magic Mike Last Dance is a BAD movie, they’re all BAD movies but sometimes being bad works for a lot of people and that’s why these things are an easy cash cow, but as far as a decent movie goes, you may want to look elsewhere.
A whole franchise revolving around male strippers this particular instalment sees Mike (Channing Tatum) step away from the strip scene until one fateful encounter with the exuberantly rich Max (Salma Hayek) has him flying to London with her to direct a strip show at a regal London theatre.
So that’s the plot, that’s pretty much it in a nutshell but we have to swim through bad acting, an entire script that makes next to zero sense (probably too much body grease blurring the words on the page) and whilst it’s weirdly fun in places (travelling / lavish lifestyle) it’s absolutely awful.
There’s no amount of alcohol that can save my eyes from this particular movie and even for the ladies this one may be a bit dull, there’s not even as much stripping involved in this one (sorry)!
Tatum’s character is as dry and wooden as the theatre stage floor and Salma Hayek can’t even be bothered to dial a performance in for this one. Turn up on set, enjoy Tatum’s nipples in her face for a few takes, gather paycheque, go on holiday or so it feels like.
All nipples and no substance this two-hour drag-a-thon does feature some good dance choreography when it finally arrives in the last act of the movie but by then I’ve been bored to death and absolutely nothing or no one in this film can save it.
If Steven Soderbergh is thinking about making another one, I highly advise him to stop. Much like the audience reactions have been to this instalment and my own interest in this franchise, well, it’s clearly all dried up.
God forbid a Magic Mike Last Dance… I Promise sequel coming soon.
Magic Mike Last Dance Review by Sean Evans
Our Rating
Summary
All nipples and no substance this two-hour drag-a-thon does feature some good dance choreography when it finally arrives in the last act of the movie but by then I’ve been bored to death and absolutely nothing or no one in this film can save it.
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